Religious Trauma and Delayed Relational Development
Why can’t I trust others, even after deconstruction?
One of the most damaging aspects of religious trauma is how it distorts the way we form relationships. Research shows that early-life trauma can interfere with brain development, leading to delays in emotional, sexual, and relational growth. In high-control religious environments, strict doctrines often dictate how individuals should interact with others, preventing the development of healthy, authentic connections.
Signs of Delayed Relational Development Due to Religious Trauma
Feeling Responsible for Others' Salvation
Some religious teachings instill the belief that an individual is responsible for saving others from eternal damnation. This pressure can lead to hypervigilance, anxiety, and guilt, making social interactions feel like high-stakes encounters. If the only acceptable way to connect with non-believers was through an effort to "save" them, it may have hindered the ability to form genuine, reciprocal relationships.Difficulty feeling Safe with Those Outside the Religious Community
Many rigid religious environments enforce an us-versus-them mentality, teaching followers that those outside the faith are a threat. If questioning doctrine meant risking eternal punishment, associating with outsiders might have felt dangerous. Even after leaving such environments, individuals may struggle with trusting others or feel lingering fear about engaging with people from different backgrounds, reflecting a delay in relational development.Unquestionning Obedience to Religious Leaders
In some communities, questioning religious authority is discouraged or even seen as sinful. This can be especially harmful if leaders exhibit manipulative or narcissistic behaviors, conditioning followers to ignore their own instincts in favor of obedience. Over time, this can lead to difficulty making independent decisions and trusting one's own judgment in relationships.
Healing from religious trauma involves relearning how to build relationships based on trust, autonomy, and mutual respect, rather than fear or obligation. Therapy and supportive communities can help individuals reconnect with their own instincts and form healthier, more fulfilling connections with others.
How to Heal your Relationships after Religious Trauma
If you are ready to embark your cult recovery journey and undo the effects of your fundamentalist religion, you can consider booking a free 15 minute consultation to start individual trauma therapy (California residents only). You can also read more on my blog about how religious trauma delays sexual development and emotional development.
This post was inspired by my original blog post for Woven Together Trauma Therapy.
