Religious Trauma and Delayed Sexual Development
Why do I still feel bad about sex 5 years after leaving my cult?
One of the most distressing aspects of religious trauma is sexual repression. Psychological research has shown that early trauma can disrupt development, as adverse experiences in childhood or adolescence—such as neglect, maltreatment, or abuse—can interfere with brain development. Religious trauma can similarly delay emotional and relational growth, as explored in other discussions on this topic.
For those raised in strict, high-control religious environments, teachings that frame sexuality as sinful can hinder normal sexual development. Messages that equate natural desires with moral corruption can lead individuals to distrust, suppress, or even fear their own sexual identity. In extreme cases, survivors of sexual abuse within religious institutions may experience dissociation when confronted with issues related to sexuality. LGBTQIA+ individuals may suffer even more deeply due to the presence of homophobic rhetoric within many religious spaces. Even after leaving such belief systems, the shame ingrained by these teachings can persist.
Signs of Delayed Sexual Development Due to Religious Trauma
Feeling Guilty About Sexual Pleasure
Religious teachings that emphasize self-denial often frame pleasure as something to be feared or avoided. This can result in guilt when experiencing or even desiring sexual pleasure, making it difficult to fully engage in intimate experiences. The lingering influence of these doctrines may lead to dissociation during sex or an ongoing struggle to embrace bodily enjoyment, even after rejecting religious teachings.Shame Around Kinks or Fantasies
Religious trauma may amplify feelings of guilt and fear surrounding non-traditional sexual desires. If someone has been taught that only certain types of intimacy are "acceptable," they may feel their personal preferences are deviant or unworthy of love. However, acknowledging and accepting one's desires—rather than repressing them—can be a key step in moving beyond developmental delays in sexual identity.Difficulty Expressing Needs in the Bedroom
Internalized shame about pleasure can make it challenging to communicate sexual needs. Many people, particularly women and nonbinary individuals, may have been conditioned by religious or cultural norms that prioritize heterosexual, male-centered pleasure. If sexual expression feels inherently wrong, discussing desires with a partner can feel overwhelming. Even when in a supportive and affirming relationship, fear of rejection or judgment may prevent openness.
Healing from religious trauma requires reclaiming bodily autonomy and embracing sexuality without fear or shame. A supportive therapist or community can help individuals unpack these deep-seated beliefs and develop a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with their sexuality.
Start your Cult Recovery Journey
If you want to start to undo the effects of sexual repression and purity culture from your fundamentalist religion, there are several ways to move forward. If you are a California resident, you can book a free consultation call with me to hear more about how I can help start your cult recovery journey. You can also read more about how religious trauma affects your emotional development and relational development to better understand your trauma.
This post was inspired by my original blog post for Woven Together Trauma Therapy.
